I go between the stages. I know with a death of a loved one, it's not unusual to go between the stages, from anger, to bargaining to denial and back again, until acceptance is finally reached. I guess it's true with smoke cessation too. Funny how we learn things, isn't it?

It's important for me to just deal with the reality that I have to quit. That I *want* to quit.

One thing that makes me sad is that I relapsed after my two year quit. More importantly, for me, is that I did so before my mom passed away. So, she knew that I was smoking again before she died.
If I could change one thing, that would be it.
If I *had* to relapse, it would have been after her death. So she would have never had to know.

But, I cannot change the past. I can only go on from here. And so, I will dedicate my quit to my mother.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
I miss you...

Peace!