Griffe
Saw all the words and thoughts you put down and read what the others said and just thought I would add a little something .
Unfortunately what you feel and experience is what a large number of people feel these days . life really sucks and what doesn`t kill us on the way just makes us stronger in our quest to survive.
I would think that your T would have seen something like what you have written before so I would have shown him . But it doesn't matter if you didn't . Everyone feels trapped and alone at some point in their life and I bet you that if you asked around that a large number of people on this forum would have experienced the same feelings .
In short your not alone and the feelings you get from the people that don't shun you is far greater than the ones that do .