I am going to be delving into this as well, so I feel the anxiety of not knowing how it actually works. What's the process and how do you heal from it? I am curious to know those same answers....

A couple sessions ago, I started to talk to my T about past SA...and he asked me a bunch of questions to get me to talk about certain parts of it. I was uncomfortable, but I had always felt that the incident was not that big of a deal. Yes, I was scared to death - being locked in a warehouse - with my boss being the only one with the key - at the age of 14 - and him holding a knife and forcing me to....well....you know....But I always acted like it was no big deal. I talked to T about it, leaving out some embarrassing details that I remember...but still, talking about it pretty openly.

I was left with DAYS of anxiety....the butterflies, a knot in the pit of my stomach, crying at the drop of a dime for no apparent reason, thoughts coming into my head that I didn't want to remember....for DAYS. I had absolutely NO idea that I was going to experience that.

My T said that it's what happens when you bury a trauma. WOW, I had no idea....I truly thought it was no big deal. It happened once, it's over, move on....But I guess that was just my minds way of coping with it. I never really did get through it.....I just buried it.

My T feels that I have a lot on my plate right now and the fact that I went through days of anxiety the last time I talked about the SA, that he feels we should hold off on that until I'm ready.....

Of course, how the heck will I know when I'm ready? I have no clue....