Hey guys. As many of you know that have had to deal with an excessive amount of...well...me lately. My wife was gone out of state for a few days. Thank Goddess, maybe things can return to the abnormal that is more normal to us.

However, There is a new problem that I need to address that came up tonight.

A long time "friend" of mine that we've known for about 12 years or so did something that I feel needs to be may need to be responded to somehow.

Since I'm asking for opinions...I want to give some back ground so you have a better picture.

When we were younger he had a "fixation" so to speak on my wife. We were casually joking over playing cards & got on the topic of sex & what things we do or don't do. He was EXTREMELY fascinated by one particular thing my wife did that his doesn't. For a couple years...he would make playful comments about my wife's breasts & smack her on her butt often when she walked by. She mentioned that it made her feel uncomfortable so I started suttley suggesting he stops in a casual joking way. He seemed to eventually get the message & backed off...or he just matured or lost interest...we had hoped.

My wife & I went through a very rough patch over the fall. I wasn't sure we were going to pull through it as a couple. I don't know if this situation made him feel that there was an "opening" or what.

After we got back together he used one of his jobs with a local hockey team to start making sure my wife would win free dinners & contests that they do during intermission.

I let it go at that time because she always took me to dinner with her when she won. Then the next day he would get a little upset that she didn't take him. But it was one of those things where I wasn't sure if he was serious or not.

Then came Christmas: Him, his wife & kids came over to exchange gifts. They got me a Dallas Cowboys T-shirt...cool. I'm not into gifts anyway...
However, he then made a point to give my wife an entire freaking wardrobe of Chicago Bears merchandise!! Scarfs, jersey, gloves, ear muffs, etc. Not only far more than he got me but more than he gave his wife.

Not sure, my reaction was the best but it was instinctual. While I'm not jealous of him remotely because 1. I trust my wife, 2. physically he has nothing to offer over me....all he has is money but he's so missing the boat if he thinks that is relevant here. My response was because I was insulted by the fact that he was doing this right in front of me & thinking I was too stupid to figure it out.

I waited for my wife to get all the merchandise on...to try it out....Then i took her in the bathroom, leaving them in the other room & had sex with my wife right there & made sure to...ummm...leave my DNA on the Bears Jersey...walked out of the bathroom & tossed it to him...he of course freaked out & dropped it....after about 20 seconds of awkward silence...I made a joke saying "that's the only thing that a Bears jersey is good for. Everyone started laughing...even his wife! He laughed a few seconds later.

Things seem to calm down after that but yesterday my wife was sending jokes that she gets through text messaging to everyone in her contacts list...here's the joke...

"new stamp in the shape of a vagina. But, it's not selling because only 3% of men know how to lick the damn thing"

Here's his text back

"ha ha ha very funny. I'd show you here & now how to lick a ***** if my wife & your husband won't get upset. You big tease"



Now while my wife was in Arkansas I was carting his daughter to & from high school because his wife is legally blind fighting a condition called a psuedo tumor. His daughter abruptly changed her pick up time on thursday from 3:30 to 4:30. I refused to do it because my son had baseball practice & I knew he being her father got off work at 3:30 & could do it. I could tell he was pissed that I wouldn't do it.
Then this happens the next day...

Just a little more background on this guy. A few months back his 2 kids 16 year old daughter & 13 year old son had an incestrial episode. When mom found out she went to wake up..well...I'll give a 1st name...Kevin. He said to go back to bed & he would deal with it in the morning.

He has also told me in recent months that his wife could die & it honestly wouldn't bother him. He could take the life insurance & pay off his bills & be a happy man. The really disturbing part to me is this wasn't in a heat of passion,it wasn't during an arguement...he said it completely calm, deliberate & well thought out.
BTW, he did "playfully" hit his wife in the back of the head knowing she's gotta have brain surgery.

My wife feels like she's done something wrong. I disagree. If anyone other than him did anything wrong it would be me. I didn't say anything about him rigging the contest because she would always take me with her...of course. I figured once he saw that she wasn't inviting him he would take the hint. Then after Christmas I thought that was a pretty blunt display on my part....

Now this text...

So I need some advice here...because I think he's escallating...

here's thte methods of coming to a solution i have thought of...

1. Ignore it & see if by not responding if he escallates or ceases this.
2. I can physically beat the crap out of him...but does that solve the problem?
3. I can tell him that he was out of line & to stop. The thing here is that I think he might take this as me being "threatened & incourage him to escalate.
4. I could have Chris politely say she didn't think it was appropriate
5. I could have Chris very bluntly say that she has no interest in him in anyway...without me. So he knows it's coming straight from her.

Which one of these options do you guys like best or do you have one I haven't thought of...

LK