I think it's important that you bring it up. It's not like you got the info by searching for court records for her. It was right there in the newspaper. (Why do newpapers publish this stuff anyway? I don't think my local paper publishes divorces.) It could affect a lot in your therapy if you don't bring it up, since you are dealing with marital issues yourself. Be prepared that she will want to know how that makes you feel. If your main feeling is that you feel really bad for her, then say that. She will not throw you out.

Brian, sometime during my first year of therapy, my T told me he was divorced. I knew he was in a serious romantic relationship, but I hadn't known for sure if it was marriage or not, and I kind of just assumed he was married (he's a marriage counselor, after all, so it seemed natural that he would be married). It turned out he was not married to his current love and had divorced several years earlier. I seemed to accept this pretty well in session when he told me--didn't bat an eye. But I almost immediately went into a depression. Just slid down, and I had no idea why (I am a master at repression). Several months later, we uncovered how I felt about his revelation. Our dealing with it was so helpful. When he had told me about his divorce, my overwhelming reaction was one of hopelessness. He was so good at relationships and helped so many with their marriages, and he just seemed so f**king functional. It made me feel that if he couldn't have a successful marriage, then no one could. Why even try. Certainly I could not succeed if he couldn't. I just felt what was the point of anyone at all marrying if T couldn't get it to work. We were all doomed to failure.

Anyway, our discussing this thoroughly helped me enormously. T was able to give me back my hope that it wasn't all pointless. I also felt very bad for T that he had to go through a divorce because I was going through the failure of a marriage and it was very painful, and I didn't want him to have had to go through that. But he had. We worked on that too.

Yes, but remember her marriage is not yours.

Good luck with this.