in ourselves and others?

I am considering this. How do I offer and recieive honest feedback that is not judging, blaming or shaming?

Any thoughts?

I always speak from the heart..but I ask myself if I'm in the space to do that b/c I am not sometimes. If I am not I dont respond and let the other person know that now is not a good time.

This is extremely difficult for me to recieve positive feedback. I am very attuned and expect harsh criticism, punishment, betrayal and anger from others.

It is the loveable part that is most challenging for me.

This can be for me too. I have a bad tendancy to go to people that cant support me emotionally. I set myself up. Getting to know people that I am able to take risks with means I am vulnerable. Right now I too, feel like I am in the middle but know its my responsibility to make changes.

I had a recent experience with three chat buddies who attended me in a difficult time. I felt their non-judging and kind presence and was able to utilize the suggestons they offered.

When I recieved some feedback recently from another source I was not able to benefit from it. I experienced it as a replay--a re-enactment of the humiliation and abuse I had as a young child.

Your thoughts on the matter?

It's a topic of interest to me.

Another is why do I continually try and get everyone to like me? Why can't I accept that some people will see me demonically and others will see me as a loving and kind person?

I have some experience with this but different. I know someone that likes who I am as a person and she continually asks me to reassure her that I dont think she is weird or "out there". It isn't my job to reassure her. And right now I have seperated myself from her b/c I have so much conflict going on in my life that I dont have the energy to constantly reassure anyone of anything. It is draining. I understand the process she is going through though b/c I had to go through that too.

She seeks me out when she spots me in some of the same social circles I am in. Sometimes I think people are just trying to deal with their own issues. It's not personal and I know for me...i had to go through every bit of everything I did to become who I am today. Some days are tougher than others and I attempt to look for support that is healthy...not always succesfully though. I honor the process that others have to go through but let them do it on their own...unless I have the energy myself to help.
I'm the same person, I'm just seen through the lens of someone else's judgment. My friends exaggerate my positive qualities and my enemies exaggerate my negative qualities. Both ignore oppositie evidence.

Consequently, I must find myself, and accept myself, all parts of myself, even the ones that are disturbing to others as wholesome and important parts of how I survived a lifetime of trauma.

I would love to hear your thoughts.