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Originally Posted by Xtree
My T switched gears to the marriage which is important and okay. I sent her an email telling her that I have been struggling in therapy and a couple of things that triggered me and a list of some personal issues. During our next session I told her I had a bad week and that is why I wrote the email. She said she thought it was a good time to switch gears and we should stay focused. If we do not stay focused therapy can get off track.
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I think if I sent my T an email with a list of personal issues I wanted to discuss and at the next session he said, "let's talk about your marriage instead of that other stuff, we need to stay focused," I would feel very rejected. It takes guts to send your T a list of issues important to you that you want to work on. And then to have that ignored and the T shift gears to something else... I would have a hard time with this too.
I think if I had enough gumption, I would ask my T, "why is it so important to you to talk about the marriage when I have these other issues that are very important to me?" Maybe your T has some good reasons. Maybe she sees the marriage issue as having critical or emergency status and so wants to deal with it right now and leave the other things for later.
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I am wondering if that is adding to my problem talking.
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I think that it very well could add to that problem. You wanted to talk about certain issues and she didn't want to. She wanted to talk about something else. So maybe you're not letting her "get her way" by being even less forthcoming than usual. Completely understandable, but if that's the way it is, I think it better to tell her straight out that you want to talk about your stuff rather than indirectly try to give her that message by not talking to her about her favored topic.