deli, i completely agree with imp. you are not a bad person. you were victimized as a child and it sounds like you were manipulated into thinking whatever bad things happened to you were somehow your fault or that you need to be punished. that is complete rubbish!! you were a child deli. please don't punish yourself. you've done nothing wrong. this is all part of the abuse. as i've said before here, i heard that shame is taking on the blame of others. please don't do that! you are consistently a very caring person here so we're not buying it girl friend!

p.s. glad to hear the date went well. yea for deli!