hi sarah, i believe a lot of us have been where you are now. the good news is that with continued therapy to get out out all the 'stuff" and perhaps some more med tweaks you will find that yes, you can have a better balanced and good life. it doesn't happen overnight. it takes time and feedback to your pdoc and therapist. otherwise how would they know that perhaps there are more things to do with your meds and with your therapy?
you mentioned not letting your therapist down. bear with me, by not telling your t how you are really feeling, are you not letting yourself down???? there's nothing to be gained by pretending about how u are feeling. a therapist needs this info to better guide you through whatever is "up there" that needs getting out. your pdoc needs to know because perhaps an adjustment to meds may play a role in more consistancy with how you feel.
hope this helps to give you another approach to problem solving your dilemma and know that i have been in your shoes...and it can get better!! ..also congrats on your admission to grad school!!!