Wow. You've been through a really traumatic situation. I'm glad you shared your story and i hope things go well for you.

You can't expect to recover overnight, and no one should try to push you into getting over it any faster than you do all on your own. It may take a very long time.

It sounds to me like everyone around you is cheering you on for being a hero, and you were! but what they aren't noticing is that you were also a victim. You were traumatized, and its ok to need time to recover from that. (I know you already know this stuff, but its good to hear it again anyway i think)

My best advice is to read up on healthy communication. Finding new ways to talk to your husband about how you feel, and about how he feels is the very best thing you could do for your marriage I think. You'd be surprised how effective communicating can be in a relationship that feels broken, if you just try it from a different angle. Maybe write him a letter? It wont fix the problem but it might open the door to recovery in your relationship.

As a final note, dont lose hope. Things WILL get better, one way or another. After all, your on this forum which means your trying to heal. Your in my prayers, and i hope things go smoothly for you.