I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if he's moved on ... he probably doesn't really care what he's done to you. I know it sounds really harsh, sorry. But I'm not sure why it really matters whether he cares or not -- what good will it do you to know, either way? He's getting married, you're not getting back together, he's moving on, and it's time for you to move on too.

I know that sounds really harsh, and my age may stand against me "experience-wise", but I can tell you that you are not going to have any peace from knowing the answer to whether or not he cares. The only way you're going to get peace and be able to move on is if you stop obsessing and MOVE ON. No, it's not easy. Yes, love made you blind. Yes, you're hurting, maybe feeling the most severe pain of your entire LIFE. But if you're going to feel anything, feel resentment. Instead of thinking "He hurt me, how cruel", think "He hurt me, well I'm going to show him what he's lost!!" It's how I move on. Every time I think I want to give up, I remind myself that there is no way in the WORLD I would EVER EVER give the people who hurt me the satisfaction of knowing how difficult it actually was for me.

For your own sake, please start putting that relationship in the past. Focus on your future. Put away/throw out anything that reminds you of him, delete him from your phone and email contacts if he's still there, then DO SOMETHING NEW. Anything. Something that is completely new for you, that you never did while you were with him. Join a gym. Take art lessons. Plant a garden. Get a haircut or dye your hair, buy an article of clothing you'd never have thought of wearing before (I've done both, it's HUGELY satisfying) and then, whether you feel like it or not, hold your head high and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. It's going to SUCK and you're going to hate EVERY MINUTE OF IT for days or weeks or maybe even months, but if you absorb yourself in your future -- and yes, at 32, even at 40 you will still have a great big shining future ahead of you -- you will have less and less time to dwell on your past, until it stops bothering you altogether.

Take care of YOU right now. Show him he can't knock you out from behind. Be STRONG and INDEPENDENT and WILFUL and BRAVE. And eventually I'm sure you'll see that in retrospect, losing those 4 years with him will be nothing compared to the many, many years you have left ahead of you.