I spent decades dreading days like Mother's Day and Father's Day. Even when I became a mom myself the clouds of the past darkened the day. Through many years of therapy and lots of work in my 12 step programs, I became willing to forgive and then God walked me through the very long process of forgiving them both. Forgiveness didn't mean reconciliation though. I didn't have relationship with them after that but the painful memories became my 'history' not my torment, anguish or pain.
It came for me before much integration occurred and there were alters who still held a lot of anger but they worked it out before most of them chose integration. Had a great therapist and truly believed in God and the power of prayer.
Now I am free to enjoy the day with my children when they can be with me and I'm OK when they can't. The bitterness, anger and hurt are gone. I wish that in the future for everyone who still is in that painful, tormented place.
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However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole.
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