My T and I hug sometimes on my way out the door. In a way, I don't consider these to be "hugs in therapy". They are after therapy is over. We never hug during the middle of therapy when I am discussing something difficult, need reassurance, am crying, etc. He stays in his seat, I stay in mine. There have been times when I was having a hard time, and he made a hugging motion with his arms, and said, "I am sitting here, giving you a hug." I really liked that. We hug at the end of a session about 1 out of every 3 times. I don't feel bad when we don't hug. But I always like it when we do hug.

I don't really think of myself as "receiving" hugs. When T and I hug, it is reciprocal. We both give, we both receive.

I don't think most T's would "try to hug" a person without asking first, at least until some sort of pattern was established. My T often says, "share a hug?" before we hug. But since we've done it a number of times now, he doesn't ask all the time anymore.

That's interesting to me too. It would not have occurred to me to want or ask for a hug, because I didn't know that was even a possibility in therapy. I wouldn't have had the idea unless T asked, "share a hug?" But we are so close, that it feels very natural, like an extension of our closeness. I think maybe this never occurred to me with my previous therapist because we weren't close.

One thing I sometimes feel when T and I hug is that he is my protector. He is a lot taller than I am and when we hug, I only come up to about his shoulder and that feels really good. My H is just a couple of inches taller than I am, so that makes T a lot taller than he is too. So I feel like T is this big guy and will protect me from H! Very primal. I like that. I've told T about this reason I like that he is tall, and he understands completely. The hug reinforces this to me.

ktgirl, this was an interesting poll!