I did not sleep last night. I have no idea why, because I didn't sleep well the night before and I forced myself not to nap all day so I could get a good night's sleep last night. But I spent half the night lying awake staring at the ceiling, and the other half reading/listening to music because the number one thing I can't handle is having all that time just to THINK. I get so stressed out by my thoughts that sometimes it takes days for me to calm down. I've been walking around like a zombie all day. I want to burst into tears. I want to scream. I want to be held. I want the whole world to go away.

I don't know what I want but I'm exhausted and the depression's taking advantage of that. My whole body aches, food tastes awful, I can't concentrate on anything, not even journalling, which sucks because normally that'd help. I'm afraid to go to bed tonight. What if I have to lie there with myself again tonight? I don't think I can take another night of that. I just want silence in my head. I just want, for once, to be able to turn off my thoughts long enough to get some rest! I'm trying so hard to beat my depression, but when it gets like this I simply don't have the energy.