Yeah, I do think I get what you mean. My normal mood state is fairly bubbly, talkative, high energy. (I suspect my normal state is a hyperthymic personality) My depressive or hypomanic states have always been triggered by big stressors, so my buddies have always written my behavior off as a reaction to my fiance cheating on me, or my husband losing his job (not the cheater), etc.

I talked with my hubby about what I am like during a depression or hypomania. He said my mood states wouldn't be detected as abnormal unless someone knew me well. He can come home from work, see my back to him at the computer or washing dishes, and FEEL the negative, dark energy pouring out of me. He knows I am depressed before he talks to me. I rarely am hypomanic, but during the Zoloft induced episode, he said it was like bright, vibrating energy pouring out of me. He said I looked REALLY happy, but inside I wasn't happy at all ( I can't do bipolar right, I hate hypomania).

I guess I am starting to understand that bipolar doesn't mean you have to be completely dysfunctional during an episode. It does mean that you are different during an episode. Although the depressions are getting worse and longer with time, and the postpartum episode was the worst ever. Guess that's what treatment will help me fix. It would be dumb to dump the treatment because I don't like the name of the disease!