I didn't want to tell my T about my flashback a few weeks ago. I had a suicidal plan in college, but chose not to do it because I decided I wanted to live, but I didn't want the pain. I didn't want to tell her about it, because she might think I am suicidal now and toss me in the loony bin. It was a freaky experience to have while shopping in the grocery store.

I was getting up the courage to tell her in my session, but hadn't said anything yet. I told my T about my family's attitude towards mental illness, and how my grandfather was actively suicidal once...and my family just told him he was being irresponsible and selfish. Nobody helped him. (I didn't know at the time, or I would have gotten him help. He didn't succeed in dying and is okay now). I completely dissociated and had a flashback in front of the T. I was basically telling my T everything going on in my head the day I had decided to die. I thought she was going to freak out on me.

She didn't. She was very nice and supportive. She got the point that I wasn't suicidal now, but was just reliving the past experience. I was so worried she would say I was beyond freaky and couldn't be helped,but that wasn't true.

The point is that you need to tell the T about the self harm. If you hide the problems from the T, they cannot help you. You deserve help. You are worth it.