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May 11, 2009, 10:16 PM
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Had a horrible day. School ended making me depressed. Went over to mom's and it just got worse. Apparently the word "god" in any context other then a religious one is a swear word. My step-dad acted kind of rudely to me today...so I just got up and went for a walk.
You know the lilac trees are in full bloom right now. It's one of my favorite time of the year. It's so sad that they will all die so soon. I wish they could bloom all spring, but with lilacs yo only have a window of a week or two. Evidence of this was I took one pink blossom home and even though it was sort of a little sucket to get off the tree imediately a petal fellt off, some movement f my finger and a gentle tug and all the rest follwed suit. Amazing how such tiny and ragile flowers come from a thing as strong as a tree. They are tough to pick but once you do they fall apart in your hands. I bet you could use that for an analogy. A sad one at that.
I got home, and talked to my mom for awhile, told her everything. She basicaly explained that they are just doing their best to prepare us for adulthood because we aren't in a hurry to grow up ourselves...so some pushing is in order. (I just wish they'd push with mittens on) and she wanted me to explain why I find religion so upsetting. I told her it just ....does. And then she went on about how part of growing up is knowing that just because you aren't getting what you want doesn't make your opinion less valid (what I want is for them to be less preachy) and to accept people for who they are even though you still disagree (for some reason I havn't quite hit this milestone in my psyche, sorry folks  I guess I'm on that never ending quest to change peoples minds if they don't agree with me) and she also thew in the pick and choose your battles again for good measure. She thinks it's just growing pains and that it's easier for me to be angry at them then it is for me to worry about stuff that's going on in my life right now (this isn't counting the stuff I post here on PC, she doesn't know about this stuff, just 18 year old things that are stressful)
I told my dad about it because I'm still so dang depressed (I just feel like crying and falling asleep) and he was definately on my side on this. He thinks about it the same way that I did when they first became more religious- that it's a phase, they'll get over it eventualy, just like that time they had that reincarnation hase or mom's celtic goddess phase and their south beach diet phase or the "I'm going to move to maryland phase". We are talking about people who change their jobs at least once a year and move half as much as they change their jobs. But they didn't. They are just getting more intense about it. My dad sort of brushed this off, "no offense but I was married to her." no offense was taken, everything he was saying is true and none of it is particularly insulting. (Unlike that time I overheard my step-dad talking to my mom and calling my dad a selfish and lazy sack of **** who can't see past his own stomach) my dad says there is a reason why she used to move so often, but he says he's not going to tell me until later.
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