I don't over spend but do spend on things we need but don't always have the cash to spare. Like this week had abit of spare cash instead of saving it for a rainy day I spent it on extra food we like, on the dogs for their comfort and wellbeing. I bought some perfume I love but hadn't had for sometime. Told myself it was to cheer me up. Now I don't want to open it because I feel guilty for buying it and should have kept the money for current bills owing.

I get very angry over nothing and can't tolerate other people. Hate noise as I am super senstive to loud noise yet on the other end of my moods will have the stero blasting the latest 'Nickleback' cd and singing at the top of my lungs, boucing around the house in a cleaning frenzy.

Can't sleep so spend hours on the computer. Last stint was 10hours straight. Felt great then crashed into a heap feeling miserable for the next week. Now I am going flat out doing nothing, jumping from one thing to another. Haven't read a book in weeks, yet can read 1 in a day.

Before taking meds for diabetes 2 I was aggressive in the bedroom now I can't even get excited by it at all. Happy just to get a massage and bugger the sex.

I pick fights with total strangers and will leave my shopping trolley full of groceries, storming out of the supermarket, so I don't end up smacking someone.

Drive at high speed, as I can, on the open country roads with no another person passing me by. The I scare myself as I am doing over 145kms in a 100kms zone, yet I feel I am going slow.

I know there is something wrong with me but getting the right GP or Pdoc to actually listen is taking it's total. Never mind when I am up I usually get all the stuff done I haven't be able too when I am down. I am having more long term depression of late so it's not great.