omg omg omg I am so anxious lately. I have so much on my mind and I know for a fact no one understands all that I am dealing with. I dont know How much longer I can even survive like this. My therapist today told me I have to make my priorities. You know figure out what needs attention and just deal with that. Omg everything seems so important. How can I seperate what is important and what is not so important. I am trying to deal with all the crap, all the time and I feel like I am ready to pop. I am so hurt. and mad too. I am so mad that all this crap is in my face. and I am mad that I have to do so much to make other peoples life comfortable...Hell how even thinks about me and what I feel? My daughter, god I love her, but she wants me wtih her all the time...I worry for ther health and mental wel being. I worry about her relationship with her bf. I worry about her baby , and his health...I help her clean, I help her by watching the baby, and I help her by doing laundry for her. I leave my own house undone. My husband does the work, and I know he is upset about it. It feels like I am being mauled. he gets angry, I can see it in her eyes and hear it in his tone...she gets mad too if I dont be with her. my mother inlaw wants me to do paper work for her all the time...and I am a oncall errand person, secretary...whatever.... My son is driving me nuts, has been...Hes not been easy to deal with. abusive at times in the past...verbally abusive even now. No one takes how that makes me feel serious....they say, oh thats how he is...dont take it to heart...but it hurts. they youngest son is changing too...he is so angry lately too. I cant even talk to him without him jumping down my throat. money is tight... we are filing bankrupsy...that sucks. I am supposed to have weight loss surgury. It was going well, but they say I have to lose 17 lbs. I binge eat...I guess I am filling that empyt void. I kindof gave up. Ive been giving up a lot. the dog bit my neice...she was hurt.. omg me and my husband fought over it. I thought it was going to end our marriage really. omg Im so stressed. I am in so much pain. My legs and hips hurt so bad. arthritis in all my joints and a pinched nerve. I never get good sleep. I toss and turn in pain. I cant walk good. It hurts so much. I am behind in everything. I am even fighting with my rep payee. I hung up on her today. thats not like me...but I am so angry too. I dont know what to do. I got to tell u, I did feel like ending it all but Im still here. wow Im must be really nuts. I am just going on and on. I gotta stop now and chill. I should try to sleep its late. I never get good rest. and I am so tired all over, in my neck, my eyes...everything. I am lonely too. I need a hug. I want a hug so bad. I wish someone would just hol me and tell me its ok, and that I am a good person. I grew up in that violent alcoholic family of mine. it ruined me. I am so mad about that too. I am shot. Im tired. God help me