* holdling you in a gentle hug* ITS O.K
believe me
It is NATURAL.

You are very strong to deal untill now. You are phisycally ill, you are metally hurting..but you HAVE BEING doing ALL OF THAT.

I think that your daughter, husband, sons, and otheres HAVE TO REALIZE that they CAN make it without you! They really do! believe me.

I have been doing The Artsts Way for all this year and i know this is not about art but its about LIFE:

We think we should be "good" to otheres. we sometimes are bad to ourselves..."if such deprivation continues, we eventually become like concerned animals, snarling at our family and friends to leave us alone and stop making unreasonable demands. We are the ones who are making unreasonable demands. We expect ourselves to function without having what we needin order to do so.We requier the healing of time alone.....we may keep going through the act of continieing our lives..we even may continue functioning - but we are leaching blood from ourselves.
There are powerful payoffs to be found in staying stuck and deferring nurturing your sense of self. For many people, the the belief that they must be nice, and worry about what will happen to their friends, family, mate if they dare to do what they really want to do constitutes a powerful reason for none action...."

In your post i don`t see that you mention anybody from your family understanding and supporting you! You are going to have a surgury, you have arthritis, you have enxiety. Why does your family demand that you clean stay with them ever? if my mother had anything like that i would do EVERYTHING in the house!

Why cant your husband help your daughter with her baby and house?

From what i see you need to relax, you need rest, you need care..and all you get is their selfish demands after you sacrifice...but...i am sorry to add to your worries...

Dont you feel that you cannot take it any longer?

If you do - you are not going insane - you are going SANE!
Wake up! to be YOUR NATURAL SELF!
Our natural self is screaming, angry with everything - because we cant live a life in a trap!

If you are angry - LET IS OUT in private...go nuts...let yourself...it is relieving ..you have all the rights to be angry. If you let it out and not repress it you will be able to be nicer to othres.

What i write of course- comes from my personal experience, thats why i write this way... i felt the same way with my college project.
If we dont do what we think we "have to" nothing happenes. we may meet with some dissaproval - but - afterwards its worth it! afeterwards we can come back to fuction normaly and even better!

I am not encouraging self pity - but i do encourage self love, facing the truth and giving yourself a place to be. There is a place to serve otheres - but we are the source of our actions, the wource needs refilling.

huggs and prayers.