I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I lost a daughter too. She was stillborn almost 6 years ago.
I am sure your son knows how much you love him & I believe with all my heart that he is there with you. Kids know more then we adults do in emotional cases. They have a knack for knowing how we feel before we can express it to them.
Be gentle to yourself. I would love to see your son if you would like to share. I know how important it is for people to remember he lived...my sweet Sarah never took a breath outside my body but it doesn't change the fact she lived. Except some people don't understand the little things we need as bereaved!!!
~gentle hugs & angel kisses~