Personally, I'm not sure which is worse: KNOWING what is coming next on the rc ride, or NOT KNOWING!

I understand. I rarely find "happy" anymore... I feel like I go from low to lower and back to low. (And get some verification of that from my T.) I've had to accept the "fact?" that what I used to use as a scale to measure happy, sad, indifferent no longer works. That is in the past and now I need to view my life as it is, and if what I think is low (compared to the past) is now my "good" or happiest, then so be it.

What is also difficult, for me, is that some of this reevaluating comes with age. (Criminy, did I say that?????) I just don't know how much of it I can "blame" on the aging process of living and learning. Surely we can't find the sheer, naive enjoyment that a 3 year old gets... no, our peace might more likely come from an awesome overlook on a mountainside. Is it happy? Maybe not.

Who said staying in bed is not a positive coping skill???? I want to know! It sure works- positively- works- for me. Maybe the act of actually planningit is what makes it better? LOL Of course, I also have the physical limitations and need to prevent getting into pain/fatigue flares, so maybe I have an excuse?

Maybe it's called NURTURING yourself? Staying in bed, snuggling in, watching tv or listening to radio, or even the birds outside... reading... eating in bed whatever is a comfort...

it's ok.