I went to my first therapy session (the evaluation) this morning, after waiting 2 1/2 months for my appointment. I don't know why I even bothered, the T is shuffling me off somewhere else. I'm on my own again for two more weeks, then I'm supposed to be evaluated for substance abuse by an addiction T. Don't they realize I'm self-medicating to cope with everything? The T wasn't even concerned about my SI even though I admitted I was out of control. I knew they would do this -- I should have kept my Benadryl addiction to myself. Granted, 200 pills a week is extreme but it keeps me numb, they're trying to blame all my problems on this one substance even though I've always had problems. I can't even begin to get any kind of help from therapy until this other T evaluates my dependancy issues, then who knows where they'll send me next. I'm thinking about just forgetting the whole thing.
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" I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth. Please don't tell me that we had that conversation, 'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?
Aahh, the night is calling, and it whispers to me softly, "Come and play". Aahh, I am falling, and if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame.
I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside, you're like perfection, but how do I feel this good sober?" (From the song "Sober", by Pink)
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