I've had to think this over a bit before replying because the way you've worded this, it does sound like you're ungrateful. Your parents do a lot for you, without them you would not have the standard of living you have now nor the independence. The way I see it you have two choices 1) you can choose to be offended and be angry, annoyed, and hurt or 2) you can count your blessings and be thankful for the help that was given.

Now before your blood pressure goes up and my response offends you hear me out. The ONLY person on this planet you can change is yourself. There is nothing that you can say or do to change your father or his actions. You can either accept him as he is or cut him out of your life. It really is that simple. If you CHOOSE to continue to accept the love and support they give you, you have to decide how to respond the next time he treats you like a child. Which is what you still are to him, reguardless of your age.

In this situation there is so many things that are unknown you really have no idea of the motives involved. Personally I would say "wow that was really nice of my mother to come over and help me." You get to decide how you react to any situation negatively or positively.

I really do understand how you feel, spring cleaning does create a lot of mess and chaos. You make a bigger mess than when you started, but the end result is much better. I know how over-whelming that feeling is when everything is torn out of the cupboards and drawers and you haven't finished scrubbing everything down, you wonder if it'll ever be back to "normal" again.