I don't know what's got me so down. I just am. I just exist whether I want to or not. I look in the mirror every morning and HATE everything I see. I go to bed when I get home from work hoping that it will all end soon... the pain... the sorrow... the hurt. It's too much to carry. I don't believe in anything anymore. I once thought life could be better. My AA sponsor is freaking out. I don't know what to tell him that will make him understand the hopelessness. And I know that all this garbage MUST pass soon cause I'm bipolar and the depression can't last but it's so intense this time. There's no end to the tears. They just keep flowing like a leaky faucet. I don't know how to express the intensity of these feelings. Thank you guys so much for all the support. It couldn't come at a better time.

Ry