It's a week since my session and I've been sitting with my feelings. The problem is that my feelings haven't been sitting, lol. They've been all over the place. I'm trying to be strong and not call my T, but I don't know if it's worth it. Am I being stupid for not calling? I just don't know if I will feel better or worse after the call. I want to ask her a couple of questions about statements/questions she made/asked me at the session, but my real reason for calling is probably just because I miss her and therapy.

I keep going around and around with what to say to her, and if I should call or not. There's no answer to missing therapy and her. I could see someone under my insurance but the thought of doing this again depresses me. I'm already depressed in general, but not sure how much is about ending therapy and how much is about my life. She's given me suggestions about feeling a little down. I feel like I don't want to disappoint her.

One problem is that a new friend of mine is a friend of my T, and I'm jealous of their relationship. I have to give up my T, but my friend can see her socially. My friend doesn't know that this person is my T, but she knows I know her. It bothers me, but I don't know what to do about it. Talk about a triangle!

I don't want to end up feeling worse because there is nothing my T can do. She won't let me pay less than $100 to see her, and my H would be so angry if I saw her again. Seeing her again wouldn't help anyway right now. I just don't know if I'm dependent on her, or the therapy.

So, I don't know if it's worth being strong, and not call, or call and tell her what's going on, even though there isn't any solution.

My T and I did decide that I'm happy at work, so I'm not totally depressed. She suggested I work more hours if I can, and do other things that I like doing. So it's not like my session was about my attachment to her. It wasn't, because when I'm with her, I'm fine because she's THERE. It's leaving that's the hard part.