Tomorrow I have a t appt. I can't sleep tonight, I'm hoping to sort out what I need for me - in order to be "prepared" for what ever comes next. I'm done being mad, have not felt that way for a long time, but really want to do more than I'm doing right now.

I'm feeling a bit anxious, I don't know what I'm afraid of exactly. I want to have skills to keep from making the same mistakes that I have with the past two jobs, both which lasted 2 -3 years each.... so I can feel confident for the future.

When I called for the appt I asked my relatively new to me therapist if I could E-mail her with some of the goals I have in mind, and so she could help keep me on track in session. I'm so like some of you have said with waiting until the last few minutes of our session to start talking about what is really on my mind!!!

It was okay with her, but I didn't sent anything. She said she had a list of things that she uses for her clients that may be helpful as well. I think I'll go that route.

I've only seen her about 3 times back in June-Aug last year, also I see my pdoc for my antidepressant every 3 months. I really like and trust her, what little I know of her. But I want my money's worth out of seeing her, not just to have someone to vent with---I want skills, but not sure what skills I need. I don't want any more anxiety to get me before I start (in getting a new job).

My mood is stabilized, but not finding a job is one big issue, and now I need to understand why I left two of my jobs. I walked off of them because I was anger/hurt/had issues with some the people I worked with. Now I have trouble focusing on doing regular stuff. I'm more organized with I work outside the home.... I'm a great procrastinator.

I think I felt like they didn't like me and never would. I think some of them saw me a just some stupid older worker who was on the bottom of the status within the office - "filing", even though there was a lot more to that job. Before that I always had a job, always did good work, sometimes worked 2 jobs and when to school.....

Anyone else out there deal with these issues after depression? I really feel 90% recovered...what do you do in therapy to get you to that next place? The next place being satisfied with where you are now? Knowing you are doing what you can most days?