I will eventually find help either within a hospital setting or through outpatient. I just have to build back up to actually resigning myself to doing so. Honestly I need something in between the confines of hospitalization and the freedom of outpatient. I doubt I'll find it but im trying.

I just see the potential for a lot of things to go wrong. Being in a hospital, unable to leave as I wish, will irritate me and I know that certain parts of myself will be tempted to act out. I can just see that part of myself going 'ok, im done.. we're leaving' and kicking down doors to regain freedom. Anyone who got in my way or tried to restrain me would get hurt. I have the tendency to view strangers as inanimate objects and therefore care little for them.. they're just obstacles to be avoided. I always have that on my mind.. I have to be conscious of the safety of others as well as myself. There are just a lot of issues to address beforehand with whomever is going to provide care.

I'm doing well as far as the head injury. My gf has been hyper vigilant in observing me.. nothing out of my norm thus far. The only real affect is my feeling weird.. tired mostly and a little lost at times. I'll be honest and say something im my head feels mildly 'altered'.. its difficult and probably pointless to even attempt to explain. I don't feel it is anything that warrants concern.. the pulled muscles are by far worse.

I am ok and im still here.