I'm sorry to hear about your old T. That must be very difficult.

One of the biggest lessons that I learned in therapy was that loving anyone and being with that person...in whatever way that you can be with them and for however short a period of time...is well worth the risk of eventually losing them. If we didn't unconsciously feel this way in the first place then our hearts and brains would never allow us to connect at all. We know the therapeutic relationship is a temporary one when we go in to that room...we know that it will eventually end...and yet we still connect. I always found that to be a beautiful thing. The human heart has hope if we could just allow ourselves to feel it.

I think that caring about someone helps us to grow as human beings. It's a contagious thing. Caring brings more caring. I've told my T that I keep his voice with me. Part of him and our relationship has been integrated into me and knowing that feels peaceful. I have a very difficult time with loss...but I think that's really because I love so deeply...and that can't be a bad thing even when it hurts sometimes. Try to focus on the positive and what you've gained, how you've grown from caring about this person and allowing yourself to connect with them and the hurt may not sting so much.