</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
<font color="blue"> Those who have been here know me to be quite interested in semantics. I think often the topic of forgiveness arises, and sometimes it just doesn't fit with what it really is. Maybe there is a different word that fits better in some of the ideas of healing.

Forgive: to cease to feel resentment against on account of wrong committed. to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon (because of an offense or wrong)

I hear it often: forgive yourself. Why, if there is no reason to do so? What have you done wrong? Needing forgiveness says you did something wrong. As with intent to do so.

When someone has "done you wrong" (a My Fair Lady quote) you can choose to forgive. Or not.

If you actually did something "wrong" then surely forgive yourself. I just don't think it's that healthy to feel like you need forgiveness when you weren't trying to harm, when you were doing the best you could. (Later topics could be on "blame," "guilt," and "fault." Words I also think clarification would help us be gentler on ourselves.)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

i love this thread

some random thoughts . . . (i don't know which i agree with, just typing stuff)

saying "forgive yourself"
* maybe it's the lazy, short-cut approach to "helping" someone get over the past.
* maybe all guilt/shame feelings are ego-centric, and a person needs to be told to "forgive yourself"
* maybe it originates from a religious aspect . . . all are sinners


"A" not "I" . . . "I" not "O" (another MY FAIR LADY QUOTE)