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It's not like we can help the fact that our brains are wired to reward us for becoming violent in the same instinctual ways as food and sex. It's a matter of controlling oneself, of controlling one's own instinct. Even though so many of the people in your life (or at least were in your life at one point) didn't have any control over their instinct, impulses, and emotion. In the end in order to survive they try to distort reality so the victim is at fault because if not they would be crushed by their own guilt. Humans are also an extremely social species that requires love and affection in order to thrive... you need to both be loved by somebody as well as love somebody else in order to truly live.
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