mixedup_emotions,
Don't be afraid to discuss these things with your T...if it feels threatening to you then print out your post and give it to him.
He is not going to be disappointed in you...even if he were it is no reflection on you.

Being honest with him is absolutely necessary if you are to continue making progress.
Perhaps you will come to trust him enough to share these things with him, verbally or in writing.
Jme, but at times, writing was the only way that I communicated with my T. For awhile I could not bring myself to speak about some of my childhood trauma.

Best wishes,
Catherine