I was lucky growing up. My Moms parents, my grandparents were always
around, Even when my grandfather was transferred away. They called all
the time and came to visit often.
I even had a great grandmother my grandmothers mom. She lived to be very old .
To my that set of grandparents family was family. I can remember
being a little girl and my grandmother had a plastic container under
the car seat with peppermints in it. Always given one.
My Grandparents always held hands as I have said before up till they
passed. Which was in their 90s.
No one was perfect on that side either, as I have said my parents
had issues.
My Dads side that was a different story.I never met my grandfather on
that side till late teens.In fact he lived a few towns over ,He came
into my life when my Dad had his nervous break down.A secret.. One I now will
never get to know fully. I have bits and pieces but not enough to hold the glue
together. A few weeks ago while going threw pictures. From my Dads
side I came across 2 pictures of my step grandmother. I thought it was
my real grandmothers picture. As she looked so much like me and my
sister when young. I turned the picture over and my step grandmothers
name was there. Which put her in place before My dad and his brothers
were born. My greatgrandparents owned on a big farm. Which backed up to a Indian
reservation. My step grandmother was Indian. For those who do not know
me.My grandmother passed away when my dad was young. He and his
brothers were put in a orphanage. Sorry this is so long and full of
prolly to much.
As long as I can remember the question was asked why do you look
Indian? I had put that question to rest till I found the pictures.
Then I thought of my Dads aunt. My great aunt. Who had given me some
details I did not know after my parents passed away. She told me to
call her daughter my cousin who would fill in the rest. Well that
cousin felt I did not need to know. I has asked at first when my son
was ill and I needed family background history for the Drs.
I am getting to long winded. lol
Yesterday morning I put my great aunts name into google to see if her
phone # had changed. Low and behold it has. There was her obit. She
passed away in march. I am only 3 hours away.
Someone could have called. Or sent a note. This Aunt was always in my
life too, Was always in My Dads life.
I looked at the obit and cryed. She was old . I was blessed to have
her so many years. As only a few made it that long. And she was ever
so kind to me always. I will miss her.......
After I cryed I was then angry. As her daughter could have contacted
me. This cousin played the organ at the church in town. I was good
enough for her when I asked her to play at my Other grandparents and
both my parents services. I was good enough when I handed her the
envelope after that.. tipped her for her service. She could pick up
the phone when my parents passed and asked for a marble top table and
2 embroidered pictures that my parents had, I gave them to her.
But not good enough to call when her mom died.
I did not post yesterday as I had to tell my daughter and my sister,
They both had finals yesterday. So I waited till they were done. My
daughter being like the young me . I knew how she would react.
She knew as soon as I said my aunts name what was coming. She thought
it had just happened, when she found out it was mths ago. She was so
upset. Angry.
I understand her feeling as trust me this coming out a whole lot
less angry then what i feel. My cousin has a brother and he was no
angel., That's all i am going to say about that.
I came to a decision last night . I am going to send her a card and
call her and tell her I am sorry for her loss. As i am so very sorry.
I think for all of us.........
With my aunt passing so does what ever secert there was . Let that
rest in peace too. Does not matter. As My daughter and I and my sister
pretty well know the truth.
And in life does it really matter. It does not change me or my kids
one way or another. I know the truth................
May my Aunt rest in peace .May my cousin find peace with in her
thats the only way I can come to terms with it.
((ty)) for listening sorry it was so long