WW, your advice was much appreciated. Thanks.

The mediator suggested counseling as far as us learning how to deal with each other regarding the kids, not so much dealing with issues between us personally. The mediators description was "so you two can learn to play in the same sandbox with the same toys" meaning the kids. But I have a strong feeling his control issues would come into play and the counselor would want to know about past issues. Don't they all? "So, tell me, what were your parents like that made you pick this person and turn into the parent you've become, blah blah blah.

I don't care what my son thinks, I'm dragging those two kids to the abuse shelter support group on Wednesday. It's something I need to do for us and there's no way he's staying back here on his own for 3 hours. Besides, he needs this as much as the rest of us.

Two weeks ago, my daughter was saying "I'm not going to say I only want to stay with dad every other weekend, that would be mean." After he's gotten nastier and started saying bad things about me to them, and she's found out he's been lying about things, she said "If I had a choice, I would stay here more often. But don't tell dad I said that."

I have a feeling what the kids want and what I want is not going to be what the court finds in their best interest because I'm not a hard *** who makes them clean their rooms on a daily basis and force them to do their homework by 6:00 every night while sitting in a noisy environment at the dining room table since they're no longer allowed to do their homework in the privacy of their own bedrooms. He's enforcing adult supervision for everything short of showering and shi tting (oh, and BB gun use, that doesn't need adult supervision).