hi angel, and welcome to pc!!! i am so glad you found us. sounds like you are in a very depressed state of mind. often ppl just don't stop to think of all the things a mom must do to keep the family running smoothly. sounds like you need some "angel time", otherwise known as grown up time with friends or just by yourself...out of the house i might add. lots of suggestions for you but first things first....i agree. i think you need to speak with a psychiatrist regarding your depression or a psychologist. if there's a need a psychiatrist can put you on meds to get your mood stabilized. it may be situational or it may be a condition. they can make that determination for you/with you. so i encourage you to do that asap. your weight gain is not helping your self esteem either. not to worry about that for right now. seek professional help and i feel things will improve. please keep us posted on how you are doing. it takes about 3 weeks for meds to kick in if that is what is needed. so stick close to us so we can help you along your way. you are important as an individual...you are of worth and value....even if you can't "see" that right now. stay in touch, k?