It really does sound like you are depressed. I am glad you are going to reach out and get some help. Because you deserve to be happy. It's so hard to reach out that first time...but it will get better.

I stared at the phone for five hours before I made the first call to my T/psych NP. I recommend not spending that long .... Of course being a triplet mommy you might get 5 whole minutes to call if you're lucky!