Good grief.

After each session, T leaves me a message. I'm supposed to call and tell him what I need. Well, Teen treehouse went to T yesterday and believe me, she doesn't NEED anything, so the only message I left was something like "tell me what time you can leave me a message tomorrow and when I'm needy again I'll call".

So, he called me this morning (I hadn't called with my "needs" yet) and left me a message kind of anticipating what I was going to need (I'm pretty predictable). The thing is, it's a weird time, because H is out of town and that is triggering to me for SO MANY REASONS, so I needed a different kind of message. So, I called and told him what I needed.

He called back after his day of training, clearly in some kind of hyper "Wheee!! Training!!!" mode (he loves this training) and left me what was probably a really nice message...but right at the beginning he said something SO UNBELIEVABLY TRIGGERING that I totally panicked on the spot, dissociated, lost the rest of the message because I couldn't hear it anymore. It was SO the opposite of what I needed!!!

I called him back, feeling quite guilty, and left a message telling him about the trigger (I know he's going to feel bad because in retrospect, it's SO obvious) and asked for a different message. I KNOW T will feel bad, and it's so stupid and crazy how it worked out, because now I'm here at home, alone with my kids, H across the country, totally triggered. THAT wasn't supposed to be how it worked out!!!!

I also sent him an e-mail:

"Hi T

Just in case you are driving to your training tomorrow, bored, thinking "wow, I sure would LOVE a needy message from treehouse right now", I've got you covered. I'm sure you would check your messages anyway, but just in case, I'm e-mailing you an alert that you have a message. Isn't communication complicated?

I hate to even tell you this (but you'll hear it in the message anyhow) but something you said in your message TOTALLY triggered me and I couldn't really listen to the rest....wait, no, I LISTENED to it, but I couldn't really hear it, and I can't replay it. I'm sure I explain it better in the phone message. Or maybe not. Anyhow...

Don't be mad! And don't feel bad! I know you didn't do it on purpose, and it's so bizarre, I'm sure I'm the only person in the world who would have been triggered by it anyhow.

I'm somewhere in between treehouse and teen. I think I'm...30% treehouse, 70% teen? 20% treehouse, 80% teen?!?!??! Maybe 10% treehouse, 90% teen?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HA! I'm not sure yet if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm going to try to make it a good thing.

I wonder if you'll even see this message?

I know you've had a super long day already. So, I know you probably can't get to the message until tomorrow. It's cool. I took a klonopin! lol (<- I never know if you know e-mail lingo. you must know "lol")

OK! Crazy splashy boys in tub! THANK YOU for not getting mad at me and for leaving me another message (ha ha I'm trying to insert a thought there "I'm not mad at treehouse and I will leave her another message" - did it work?)

treehouse

And hey - the treehouse part of me really IS triggered and needy. Don't let my e-mail fool you."

I guess I'm sharing this because it actually IS pretty upsetting And also to show everyone that, yes, I really AM the World's Neediest Client so everyone can put their fears to rest if they start to feel "too needy".

Ugh