I sat by the phone for an hour, pressing the buttons and then stopping. My heart was beating too fast, and I just couldn't do it. I want to call her so badly, but I feel like I'm going to disappoint her. I'm obsessing about my feelings from the session, and I want to ask her a question that may be inappropriate. I also want to tell her something. It's just too hard, though. I am panicking too much when I pick up the phone.

But each day I don't call, I get more depressed. I feel like I'm going to explode! I'm sorry I'm posting so much about this. I'm sure most of you are thinking, "Why doesn't she just call already!?" I wish I could. Maybe tomorrow I will.