Controlling your anger is incredibly hard, and the feelings of guilt and remorse after blowing up at someone you love is even harder. Do you talk to a T, or take any meds? My Dad had (has?) uncontrollable anger with a nasty, nasty temper. I see him as unpredictable, untrustworthy, and am overall scared of him no matter how hard I try to act like I don't care about him or what he does. However, I realize that I also have quite the temper and anger issues. What I mean by this is you need to get it under control, if not for your own sake, then for your kids sake because anger becomes a never ending cycle that pains everyone involved. I see you've begun taking something for it, which is awesome. Do you speak with a T? Sometimes anger can't simply be diminished through meds.

Good luck, and remind your family of how much you love them.