This happened to me when I was trying to move through the grief of the loss of my relationship with T. It felt as if contact was a need. I could barely control myself. I think at one point if I'd have gone into the office I would have collapsed or been unable to keep myself from pathetically clinging on to him. It was honestly that bad. I made it through that part without contacting him, but then when the realizations of my feelings began coming to light, I knew I had to express them somehow or I might just explode. I caved and emailed him right in the middle of a yearning spell. It was if expressing them... even just writing them down...had released some of the pent up emotion. When I returned to therapy, I returned because there was unfinished business in the relationship. I had to tell him how I felt. I couldn't bear to think of him never knowing. I also worried about disappointing or angering him, but it ended up being something that I had to do for myself so I took that risk. He wasn't disappointed or angry. He understood.

Maybe you should give yourself permission to call her. If you need to ask something or need to express something to her, it will likely just fester inside of you until you do. You said last time you didn't talk about your attachment to her. Maybe you need to release these feelings before you can move on from this. Maybe releasing the feelings and asking the questions is a step toward moving on. Just a suggestion. You know what you need. Try to have faith in yourself. Good luck.