Sannah, Yes of course. My fears are so stereotypical that its almost laughtable. The closer i get, the more I fear I have to loose, I can't seem to see it another way such as, that even if or when I do loose her, I've gained such a lot, my mind is so familiar with rejection and abandoment, that it struggles to register anything that opposes that.

Oddly enought, I mentioned about fear of T suddenly dying and me not having gotten enought of her. She at first tried to calm my fears by mentioning all her family are long lived and she doesn't plan on dying, but she did add, that she felt that I did already have enought. I took that to mean that I a fine now and can leave therapy, she replied, no I mean I think what we have done so far here is enought for you to be able to survive if I died by working it through with someone else, and she added that she of course had numbers of people who would really work with me in the event of her not being able too, but no she said, she didn't feel I was ready to leave therapy and then with a smile she said, and no I am not telling you to go work with someone else LOL!< I laughed and said, you know where my mind is going already LOL!!