Everyone needs to take responsibility for their behavior. Your husband needs to take responsibility for his lying and for his not taking responsibility for his own problems. He also wasn't respectful of your feelings but does he respect anyone's feelings? If you see his problems as being abusive to you, you run the risk of turning yourself into a victim. Yes, there are victims out there. They are the people who truly did not have any power at the time, this being from being a child or psychologically not realizing that they had power, or physically being overpowered. Turning yourself into one doesn't benefit you. Find your power, stand up for yourself, meet your needs and don't turn yourself into a victim...........