I had my first pdoc appointment yesterday. It went well I suppose. He said that I obviously have a lot of anxiety ... however he doesn't see were I'm depressed. Because my answers to the questions like 1) fatigued nearly every day? 2) thoughts of suicide 3) feelings of worthlessness --- were NO

He said that anyone with my current situations like ---
1) blended family
2) custody battle with bf POS ex wife
3) and just raising 3 children (2 of which are not mine)

--would be stressed out. I just do not handle stress as well as some can and do. I usually act in anger or irritability.

He said that I had visible anxiety right then
1) fidgeting
2) twirling my hair constantly
3) and biting on the inside of my cheeks

Which are all things that I know I do when nervous/anxious. However I'm not completely aware that I'm doing it. And when he pointed it out it made me more anxious, cause I was trying NOT to then lol!

He also said that I am very paranoid and obsessive about the bf's intentions. Maybe it has to do with not trusting men or people in general. In relation to my upbringing.

So in the end there were no definitive answers. However he did have me take this true or false questionnaire of 300 questions! He did tell me the name of it but it was a mouth full and I don't remember what it was. He also called it by it's abbreviation and I don't remember that either. But this questionnaire is meant to diagnose or test for mental/mood disorders. In my case bipolar. However I'm really hoping that it will test for other things as well.

Oh and he wants me to come back June 4th (too far away) and discuss what he thinks about the results. So I have at least another 2 weeks before I can even begin meds, which I KNOW I need. I just need to know for what condition!