jmo...
Recognizing abuse in its many forms, working through the feelings attached to that discovery with a good therapist,then taking the steps to build up your self esteem is part of the healing process. Part of that may well be feeling victimized, and it's a walk from being a victim to being a survivor to being an overcomer.
We have to start somewhere and work our way to a better understanding, it's not done by a giant leap...one step at a time, one day at a time.
Every situation is different; most people struggling to improve or leave that situation is a victim until they find their courage and desire to leave it. It's not a choice at first; it's a yearning. That yearning itself is a forward movement out of victim hood...
Acting on that yearning takes courage.