What happens in our childhood can have a great effect Tao, bullying has been the cause of many young people taking their own life. It is likely that this contributed to things and wasn't resolved at the time. I am glad you have therapy now and can work through it all.
((((((( Tao )))))))
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein