Well, as for the spotless house you can use that against him as he HAS HELP (2 parent household!) and once you get alimony, maybe you can have help too.

I know you won't like reading this, because I know I don't like hearing the flip side from my T when I'm taking the other position, and feeling that way...

There are two sides to these issues (or more)

As for the hateful emails,, if you really need them, contact the ISP... or search for them on your computer.. unless you have a different one ..odds are they're on there inthe dark crevices (especially if you printed them out!) BUt trust me, judges don't usually take things that are that old into consideration (unless it's been going on for all that time and is relevant.)

There's an argument to be made for democracy... seems whole countries have used it : ) Too much leniency or too much strictness can balance off... only you know where you are on the scale, though..

You just think he's using the disorderly against you... if he wants to play in that mindfield, his drunk driving will come up and I assure you that's a much bigger issue nowdays!!!

You attorney can fight this battle. What he IS using against you is his history of abusive behavior...he's playing you like a fiddle because he knows what buttons to push. Resist. Judges are NOT blind (oh wait... justice is supposed to be...) anyway... it depends upon your attorney, sadly, and how well he/she presents your philosophy of child raising.

I think it's good you made a list, and hope you continue, as you will then be able to go through it and work on what you wish, but also see the folly in his threats.

You can always change some things... join a church, sign up to volunteer with a non-profit (even if you don't have time right now to help... it goes on the record, you know?) Stuff like that.

Also, children are resilient... and reactive. Put efforts into quality time when you are together/able... the child will benefit greatly, but will also be proof of how well you are doing.