I fel like a disaster. My irritability and anger is out of control and I am coping by drinking and taking extra pills. I have an appt with my pdoc Tuesday since I am quickly running out of pills.
I also have PTSD and my counselor, who is an intern, thinks that I need to deal with issues from childhood abuse. He wants me to go see this lady that 'specializes' in childhood sexual abuse. It makes me feel like a big screw-up, even though I know he is only doing what he thinks is best for me. He even offered to go with me so that I am not so freaked out.
Counseling in general gives me a lot of anxiety because I just want all of this to go away. I am tired of fighting and fighting this!
I am on enough drugs to kill an army and why? So I can still be crazy? At my last pdoc visit he thought maybe my antidepressant had made me manic, so maybe I need to go off of it. I am almost afraid to tell him anything b/c I am so tired of medicine and changing doses, etc. Thanks for listening.