*****Possible triggers******

I have been dissociating A LOT since I got back from a T appointment on thursday. The session was really rough. during one episode of dissociation one of my parts found a sharp object and carved the words "Bad Girl" into my leg. I can't seem to find the thing they used and can't figure out what they used because I intentionally don't keep sharp things in my apartment for this reason. I have searched the apartment and I can't find what ever they used. I am constantly reminded that I don't have things under control right now. I am really scared. I have another part that is watching over my littles, along with an image of my Ts.

I don't know who did this to me and I can't seem to figure it out. My T emailed me and explained to me that I am doing a great job at containment. I told her that I am not containing anyone. She explained to me that containment is more then just controlling your parts. It is also learning to deal with the emotions. She constantly tells me I am doing a great job but I don't feel like I am. I feel like they are winning and I am slowly lossing it.

What do I do now that I don't have control over whatever part is hurting me during my dissociation?