Hey. I am not a psychatrist but I was a cousellor for a while. I have been right where you are. Not in the same circumstances but definatley the same feelings. I remember the feelings of hopelessness and panic. The feelings of utter dispair. I met a wonderful friend who said to me one day, "The most important person on this planet right now, is you. There is no one like you. There never will be again. You are unique in the same way that we all are. Look after yourself. Love yourself. Care for yourself and you will inspire others to treat you the same way." I have never forgotten that because it turned out to be so true. The same is true for you. Accept what you have done wrong. Never accept blame or guilt for what you have not done wrong. When others put you down remember that it is their problem and not yours. There is no need for you to own it. Repair you errors by repairing the source of those errors. ie, yourself. Look at what you have achieved in yor life and be thankful that you have done what you could. Pat your self on the back for being brave enough to admit fault and seek help. Many don`t. Then stride out again to be better than yesterday (my motto). You will be because you care. You are the only person on the planet like you. Utterly unique. With all your faults and failings you are still worth loving, so learn to love yourself and to forgive your errors. You are not perfect but you are speacial. When you realise that, so will those around you. I wish you well.