(((polperro))) gosh your descriptions took me back to when i was just where you are right now.  please consider calling your pdoc. you need his/her help seriously right now. i could go into all the things i couldn't do or felt but you already know. you are living it right now. we care about you here at pc. please keep us posted on how you are doing. even baby steps are progress. please try to call your pdoc, first.you are of worth and value even if right now it seems so bleak and dark. hold on to us until you can find the hope again. i care.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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